Be careful of the slow erosion of your values [59:19]

Yesterday we talked about how what we consume impacts our soul and today inshallah let us take this conversation deeper.

In a powerful verse of Suratul Hashr, Chapter 59 of the Quran, Allah [swt] says:

وَلَا تَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ نَسُوا اللَّهَ فَأَنسَاهُمْ أَنفُسَهُمْ أُوْلَئِكَ هُمُ الْفَاسِقُونَ

[59:19] And be not like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget their own souls: these it is that are the transgressors.

Scholars explain that one of the meanings of this verse is that when people regularly "forget" Allah by being unmindful of Him, they cease to listen to what benefits the soul and are unable to do that which would purify it. Since a main purpose of our creation and being on this planet is purification of our hearts and nafs, this is tantamount to "forgetting" ourselves.

The Quran is essentially warning us here about the slow erosion of our spiritual awareness. When we forget Allah, we gradually lose sight of our true identity and purpose. Forgetting oneself means forgetting one’s intrinsic worth, purpose, and higher potential. Imam Ali (AS) describes this loss beautifully: "One who forgets Allah, the Glorified, Allah makes him forget himself and blinds his heart." (Ghurar al-Hikam, H. 9738)

This transformation does not happen overnight of course. It is a slow, almost imperceptible process—one that occurs so gradually that we may not realize how much we have changed until we are far from where we once stood. Neglecting our connection to Allah leads us to a state of heedlessness, where we become detached from our original nature and our spiritual essence.

The Boiled Frog Effect: A Gradual Transformation

There’s an old and very powerful metaphor about a frog being slowly boiled alive. If a frog is placed in boiling water, it will immediately jump out to save it’s own life. However, if it is placed in lukewarm water that is gradually heated, it will remain unaware of the rising temperature until it’s too late. By the time it recognizes how hot the water is, it has no energy left to save itself and is therefore boiled to death.

While the science of this analogy might be debatable, its application to human behavior is undeniable. Many of us slowly absorb influences, ideas, and habits that change us over time—without ever realizing the transformation until it is too late.

Much like the frog in the slowly heating water, when we constantly engage with certain environments, media, and lifestyles, our thoughts and emotions are shaped accordingly—often in ways we don't immediately recognize. Exposure to negative influences, unchecked habits, and immersion in purely materialistic pursuits can alter our perceptions, priorities, and even our sense of self.

Forgetting oneself means forgetting the beautiful names of Allah that are reflected in our own essence. According to ‘Allāmah Tabātabā’ī in Tafsīr al-Mīzān, a person who forgets Allah gradually perceives himself as independent, becoming absorbed in selfishness and arrogance. He is oblivious to his return to God and loses the noble potential that was once within him.

How Gradual Exposure Shapes Us

1. Desensitization to Harmful Content We live in an age where explicit content, vulgarity, and materialism have become normalized. The first time we hear a vulgar song lyric or see inappropriate content, it may feel shocking. But over time, repeated exposure reduces our discomfort. What was once unacceptable becomes commonplace. Psychology research shows that desensitization happens when repeated exposure to a stimulus diminishes our emotional response to it. This is how we slowly internalize what we once rejected.

2. Doomscrolling and the Normalization of Negativity Constant exposure to bad news, social media outrage, and endless negativity rewires our brains, kills our empathy and shuts down our compassion. Research in cognitive psychology suggests that overconsumption of negative information increases stress and anxiety, making us more reactive, pessimistic, and hopeless.

If we do not filter our intake, we slowly become people who absorb negativity as our default mode of thinking.

3. Influence of Social Circles and Online Communities

Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (AS) said: "Beware of befriending a foolish person, for he may want to benefit you but end up harming you." (Bihar al-Anwar)

In today’s world, "friends" extend to digital communities and influencers. Who we follow, engage with, and consume content from affects our beliefs and behaviors. Social media algorithms reinforce our biases, slowly pulling us into echo chambers where ideas become unquestionable truths. What starts as curiosity can turn into ideology if we are not critically aware of what we absorb.

4. Gradual Shift in PrioritiesMany people begin their lives with a strong connection to faith and spirituality, but as career ambitions, entertainment, and societal trends take precedence, faith becomes an afterthought. The more we neglect our spiritual practices, the more distant they feel, making it harder to return to them when we need them most.

Reversing the Process: How to Stay Conscious

The good news is that just as gradual exposure leads us away, mindful efforts can bring us back. Here are a few practical steps:

1. Be Intentional with What You Consume Audit your media diet. If your social media feed, entertainment, or conversations are shaping your thoughts negatively, take control. Replace mindless scrolling with beneficial reading, dhikr, or meaningful discussions.
2. Regular Spiritual Reflection Imam Ali (AS) reminds us:

"Certainly, Allah has made His remembrance the light for hearts which hear with its help despite deafness, see with its help despite blindness, and become submissive with its help despite unruliness." (Nahjul Balagha, Sermon 221)

Engage in regular self-reflection through Quranic recitation, prayer, and seeking knowledge. This resets our internal compass and helps us see when we are drifting.

3. Surround Yourself with Good InfluenceThe Prophet (PBUH) said:

"A person is upon the religion of his close friend, so let each of you look at whom he befriends." Choose company—both online and offline—that uplifts and reminds you of your higher purpose.

4. Slow Down and Listen to Your ConscienceIn a fast-paced world, we rarely pause to evaluate our inner state. Take time to ask yourself: Am I becoming who I want to be? What values am I absorbing? The more we check in with ourselves, the less likely we are to be unconsciously changed.

The boiled frog effect serves as a stark warning: gradual changes can lead to significant consequences, and by the time we realize, it may feel too late. But the Quran gives us the key to awareness: Do not forget Allah, so that you do not forget yourself.

With mindful awareness, intentional consumption, and regular spiritual check-ins, we can ensure that we are not slowly drifting but actively shaping our own transformation toward goodness and closeness to Allah.

May we remain aware, steadfast, and intentional in our journey. Ameen.

We go into more depth in the podcast episode which is uploaded here

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Wishing you a day full of spiritual fulfillment, positivity, purpose and peace.