Do not engage with the ignorant [25:63]

Yesterday we started discussing the qualities of the Ibad ur Rahman [servants of the Most Compassionate] from Chapter 26, Sura Furqan. We said that we need to reflect the quality of compassion within ourselves and then we discussed the first quality from verse 63: the quality of humility.

Today, let us look at verse 63 again and explore the second quality of Ibad ur Rahman which reads:

The servants of the Compassionate are those who walk humbly upon the earth, and when the ignorant address them, say, “Peace.”

The second characteristic of these special servants of the Most Merciful is that when confronted with prideful ignorance, foolishness, aggression, pointless arguments or badgering, they do not engage with such behaviour and simply say: Peace. When people are addressing them with the aim to ridicule them or bait them into arguing, they maintain their emotional balance and do not accept the bait.

We recognize the word “Salaam” as the Muslim greeting of “May peace be upon you”. This use of the word is different. Scholars explain that the word Salaam here is to command one to have an attitude of restraint and forbearance and use it to signal a refusal to engage. It is to say farewell to their senseless words. This ‘peace’ is not a greeting which is the sign of kindness and friendship. This is the ‘peace’ that is the sign of patience and the outcome of humility.

It is important to point out that the use of the word “peace” is not suitable in all interchanges where there is a difference of opinion or debate. As we have been discussing earlier this month, we have guidance on how to discuss and debate with people when there is a difference of belief or opinion.

In order to fulfill the aims of dialogue and communication, we do need to discern between constructive dialogue and futile conflict. While the servants of the Compassionate are enjoined to share knowledge with sincerity and humility, they are also advised to exercise discretion in their interactions. This discretion entails recognizing when engagement serves a meaningful purpose and when it merely perpetuates discord.

In situations where dialogue devolves into argumentation for the sake of argumentation – devoid of genuine inquiry or mutual understanding – the refusal to engage becomes an act of self-preservation and boundary-setting. By declining to participate in fruitless debates, individuals exemplify humility by prioritizing inner peace over the ego-driven but short-lived gratification of proving oneself right.

Recognizing when a discussion is about to devolve thus requires us to be grounded in introspection, restraint, and wisdom. We need to recognize our own triggers – those internal mechanisms that predispose us towards reactive behavior. By consciously acknowledging these triggers, we can pre-emptively pause and remind ourselves that we can take a moment or more to regain emotional equilibrium before responding.

A beautiful example of such a situation is found in the conduct of Imam Zain al-Abidin [as], who, when subjected to unwarranted insults and abuses, responded with “If what you say is true, may Allah forgive me; and if you are lying, then Allah may forgive you.” This short exchange teaches us that stopping an argument with “Salam/Peace” can take a sentence or two.

Reminding ourselves of, and acting on, this verse is vital in today’s divisive climate. Social media platforms serve as battlegrounds for ideological clashes, particularly in the realm of politics. Individuals often find themselves embroiled in heated debates, where differing opinions give rise to animosity and division. Amidst the cacophony of voices clamoring for validation and supremacy, responding with peace becomes a radical act of humility and even resistance.

Saying Salaam in a situation like this is NOT giving in or acceptance of the opinion. It is a signal that one is refusing to respond to baseless insults and groundless arguments. It is a sign that while we are open to discussions based on fact and reason, we will not compromise our dignity by engaging in exchanges which are geared towards mockery, insults and abuse rather than understanding.

To summarize, every conflict that is unproductive or turns ugly presents us with a choice. We can protect our dignity, our relationships and our energy by refusing to engage by simply saying Salaam thereby signalling the end of our involvement. Or we can continue to engage in unproductive discourse, driven by our need to be right.

Which will we chose the next time we find ourselves in such a situation?