Speak gently in the face of aggression [20:44]
Mar 30, 2023
Here is today's reflection from the Quran:
Then speak to him a gentle word perhaps he may remember or fear. [20:44]
Today’s verse is from Sura Taha and these words are said to Prophets Musa (as) and Haroon (as) as they prepare to go and face the tyrant Pharaoh (Firoun) in his court.
It is interesting that instead of being told to face the aggressor with stern or harsh language, the two Prophets are told to approach him with gentleness and to speak a “layyin” (kind, gentle) word.
The wisdom behind this, scholars explain, is that when aggressors or tyrants are approached harshly, it is more likely to increase their obstinacy and pride.
Here, the verse says that when the aggressor is approached thus, one of three things may happen:
1. Firoun might heed the admonition and accept the truth
2. He may consider his actions and fear the outcome in front of God OR
3. He may be indifferent and non-response [“la’alla” conveys the sense of “perhaps,” “hopefully,” or “it might be that”]
In other words, the two should follow the process of wise admonition, even though the outcome of their endeavour is not guaranteed, but in doing so, they have the best hope of being listened to.
This verse contains such profound wisdom for us. We may have noticed in our lives as well that speaking sternly or harshly often results in the shutting down or fighting back from those who are addressed thus. Speaking gently is much more likely to “keep the ears open” of those whom we are talking to.
While we can never control or know the outcome of our conversations, addressing people who may tend to become aggressive with gentleness is our best hope of having our voices heard. It also reminds us not to despair in the guidance or coming around of others.
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Marzia Hassan
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I am a counsellor specializing in couple therapy and parent coaching in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Although my first degree was in Law (LLB from the University of Toronto), I realised that my true passion lay in counselling and coaching families and couples to build better relationships. I therefore started training in family and couple therapy and have been practicing marriage and family therapy for almost a decade.
