Watch those suspicions [49:12]

Here is today's reflection from the Quran:

Today inshallah let us explore a verse from Chapter 49, Sura Hujarat which discusses social relationships.

In verse 12, the Quran cautions the believers: O you who believe!

Avoid much suspicion. Indeed some suspicions are sins. [Holy Quran 49:12]

A habit that can poison even a strong relationship is constant suspicion and negative interpretations about the thoughts, intentions, and motivations of the other person.

The human mind, as we may have all experienced, is a meaning-making machine. Thoughts pop in and out of our minds at a furious pace (60,000 plus a day according to some experts). Our brains try to "figure everything out" and when there is a gap in our knowledge or understanding, the brain will fill in that information by making assumptions.

The default tendency of the brain is to make negative assumptions rather than positive ones and while there is a very good survival reason for this, it generally does not help us in daily life. Since most of our assumptions and interpretations are based on our own world view, our habitual way of thinking and past baggage, they have little to do with actual facts.

When those thoughts involve other people with whom we are in a relationship with, they can cause havoc in the relationship. They can destroy trust and goodwill in the relationship itself while robbing us of our own peace of mind. And it can be exhausting to stay vigilant and keep guessing motivations of another.

Spiritual masters explain that these suspicions and assumptions in the mind are planted by the Shaytan who does not wish to see believers having good relationships with each other. Harmony between believers would strengthen them and cause their faith to grow which would weaken and derail Shaytan's mission.

Given that the tendency to fall prey to negative assumptions is very human and one which we are all suspectable to, how do we navigate through the negative thoughts about others that come into our heads?

We will inshallah discuss more about this in tomorrow's issue, but for today let us start with beginning to notice when our mind goes down the path of negative assumptions about other people.

1. Let us pause and redirect ourselves by saying:

'There is no power or strength save in Allah, the High and the Great' [Imam Ali (as) advises to say this in every hardship]

2. Remember the dua of Imam Zain ul Abedin (as) who gives us some solid advice about redirecting our thoughts:

O God, make the wishing, the suspicion, and the envy which Satan throws into my heart

• a remembrance of Your Mightiness,
• a reflection upon Your Power,
• and working against Your enemy!

(Du'a Makärimul Akhlãq in Dua 20, passage 13 Sahifa Sajjadiyya)